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I see it,

I love it,

I make it.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Welcome to my Blog Fat 2 Fabulous!!!

How it all started....

I have always been what some refer to as "Big Boned", "Phat", "Overweight", or "A Pretty Face".  I never let any of these offensive words get in my way of being the Fabulous version of me I saw in my head.  I exuded a self confidence that many envied and often referred to as "Thinking She Is All Of That".  Well in my head I was all of that and then some!  I always dressed fashionably, devoting most of my time to finding clothing that would be stylish and fit over my big self.  This made me feel confident and I always received tons of complements about my appearance, no pun intended. 

I met a man, really a boy/child, in 2004 and we were married in 2006.  I got pregnant with my daughter in 2007 and delivered a healthy baby in 2008.  My OB/GYN used to call me fat when I would go in for my prenatal visits.  This was nice considering I was overweight but also hormonal and cried after some of my visits to this prick known in my family as Dr. Dipshit.

Things between my husband and I deteriorated to the point where I could no longer stand to breathe the same air in the same house as him.  Late April 2010, I finally worked up the courage to leave my slightly abusive (if there really is such a thing) husband and asked for a divorce.  I was not entirely prepared for the onslaught of life challenges that would ensue over the next 4 months. 

Protective orders, Crime Scene Investigator Visits ( I won't even go into why CSI was in my house and not on the TV where they belong), Custody Petitions, Separation Agreements, Divorce Decrees, Child Care, mounting bills, Baby Daddy Drama, and so on......

I woke up out of my drug induced daze (Valium is a wonderful thing) one morning and looked into the mirror.  I am 5'11 and weighed a whopping 350 pounds!  I didn't even recognize the person I saw in the mirror.  My beautiful face was now resembling a pumpkin and I had more than 2 chins.  My arms were so big there were shirts that literally cut off my circulation.  I'll skip the details on the thigh rub and how ENORMOUS my ASS was! 

Household bills were mounting because my soon to be Ex wasn't helping me in any way shape or form.
I suffer from a condition known as "Can't Eat When Stressed Out".  So I started eating only enough to keep me alive and give me enough energy to drive 100 miles to/from work each day.  That wasn't working too well and my energy level was pretty much on Empty.  I have a 2 1/2 year old girl to keep up with so something had to give.

My daughter said to me one day, "Mommy I wanna walk".  Simple request to most parents, you get your ass off the sofa and you go for a walk.  Well I think I made it a block, which is the end of my street.  I turned around and we went home.  I was so out of breath it was ridiculous.  I mean I walked a block.  I realized that I was so big that I couldn't even take a stroll with my child.

F this I said to myself.  I couldn't afford to eat out everyday and put gas in my car to go to work, so I started bringing my lunch.  I would eat a banana on my drive in, a cup of cereal when I get settled at work a few hours later, and then started this weird regimen where I ate every 2 hours.  I alternate carbs and proteins every 2 hours up until I leave work.  I eat my last carb of the day around 3pm so I am not starving when I walk in the house.  I walk with my daughter everyday gradually increasing how far we would walk. I cut out fried food, fast food, carbs after 3pm, pasta, bread, and sodas.  I am now firmly addicted to Starbucks coffee and Black and Milds.  Smoking is bad, just let me get that on the record.  I quit cigarettes 8 years ago but shit everyone needs a vice here and there.

During the first few months I dropped probably around 20 pounds which is normal when you have THAT much weight to lose.  Then I noticed around the 3rd month that my jeans were big.  Then my favorite this didn't fit, my favorite that was HUGE. 

6 months later I have dropped 68 pounds and am down 6 sizes.  I am still a big girl but I feel so much healthier and stick to a strict diet for 3 weeks a month.  1 week a month I eat whatever I want, within moderation, and just keep it moving.

This is my story of how I am going from Fat 2 Fabulous!  There are many challenges along the way and will chronicle my story here!

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